A Heart That Yearns to Love Well transformative 1:1 session

Hi Friends,

If you've been in spiritual work for awhile, and I imagine you have, you know that particular irrefutable experience of true and permanent transformation. 

Earlier this week I worked with a dear client (let's call her Deborah), and she was ready to look at her inner teenager. The inner child gets all the press, and of course attention is due there, but there is a wide array of inner characters... inner baby, inner teenager, inner young mother, inner first job, inner bride, inner day of giving birth, the list goes on. There is even an inner 5 seconds ago you. (.....Yup, there they are.)

Through years of working with people I've come to see that there needs to be a preparedness to work with any inner part of ourself. Sometimes when people first meet their inner child there can be a lot of resistance, sometimes the inner child repulses the client, or they feel like they don't deserve to be with the little one. 

All of this is diagnostic, and it is counterproductive to add any self judgement to it. It is just information. When a person is repulsed by, or feels unworthy of meeting an inner child, that is the place to gently start the healing journey.

It is easier to work the inner baby, child, or teenager than a part of you that is closer to your current age. I believe that this is because as we age the years make it easier to not identify with the younger ones. They exist long enough in the past that they can more easily appear as Other. This is helpful. 

Extracting the identity out of a behavior, thought pattern, or inner child is necessary before a true adult loving presence can preside. Ultimately it is when this loving adult presence (a presence that is in all of us, though may be latent) can be with the inner hurt part that real transformation and healing commences. 

However, I digress. I want to tell you about Deborah, and the beautiful work she did with her inner teenager. 

Going into the session she had shame, guilt, and a high degree of self judgement related to something that she had done when she was 19.  Current circumstances where bringing the old memory right to the forefront, and triggering shame throughout the day. 

This client has been with me for awhile, and has a heart of pure gold. She also has a well established ability to know when she is ready to look at something and when she is not. This is essential. When we look at something, and are not ready to,  we retraumatize ourself all over again, albeit innocently and with basic good intention.

As soon as we started the 1:1 call Deborah said she was ready to look at this moment with the 19 year old, a moment we had touched on briefly many times before, but in the past the readiness was not yet available.

Deborah dropped right in and went back in time to the 19 year old, to the exact scene that had tortured her for 45 years.  Once she got there I guided her to just sit and watch the young woman. To just sit and, with a relaxed body and gentle eyes, look at the young woman. To look at her expression, her body language, her energy. 

This step is so important, and patience is the name of the game. This sort of calm, relaxed looking, given enough time, will show you everything. And I do mean everything. When this sort of looking opens up (I call it Opening the Eyes of Love... more on that later) the ego, or identified self, has taken a step back and the true self has open its eyes and is bringing great healing to bear on the past. 

Deborah looked and looked with the Eyes of Love open wide, and, as is the way, saw what really happened. Up until this moment she had believed that the 19 year old could have done better, that she was weak and had been bad. 

The Seeing that arose when the Eyes of Love opened saw something else. They saw what was real (in other words what was True). The ego just can't see the Truth. It can't see what really happened to you in the past. You cannot understand the past when you are looking from inside of the unhealed inner child, teenager, etc.

Einstin says that the thinking that created the problem is not the thinking that will solve it. This is true, and it is related to what I am saying here. 

Deborah sat and watched this lonely 19 year old and the tears started to come. (I have been told that tears wash the lenses of perception clean so that they can see the Truth. I love that). 

Here stood a 19 year old girl that had recently moved out of her childhood home, a home full of abuse. She was totally unsupported. She didn't have money. She didn't have a car. She was dependent on her emotionally unreliable partner for transport. She was a lesbian teen in 1977. This girl was alone, without any of the support and resources that Deborah has now. 

Deborah looked at this girl, and started to cry. She saw, with a seeing that does not need outer confirmation, that the girl was trying so hard, and was doing everything she could. The girl had a heart of gold. 

And with that, in an instant, all shame and guilt left Deborah and was replace with only love and compassion for the girl. Oh sweetheart, I'm here now. We can do this together now. 

I don't worry that Deborah will fall back into shame around this part of her life.  Seeing with the Eyes of Love is complete and final. A done deal. Game over. It cannot be unseen. 

The healing I have describe here happens over and over in the 1:1 sessions I do with clients. I love it. I am in awe of how blessed I am to get to be with people as ancient pain and suffering transforms into understanding and compassion. 

“Forgiveness is realizing that what you thought happened, didn't."               ~ Bryon Katie
 

If you are ready for the caliber of healing that transformed Deborah, respond to this email or sign up for a session on my website.
www.sacredive.com

Let us be so tender and kind with each other and ourselves, and when we cannot, may we be so tender and kind with that. It is as it should be.

I wish you so much love today,
Evangeline