Last weekend I spent a day in workshop with a group of people exploring our Inner Children and, when the moment was there, doing The Work with these Little Ones. One practice that we worked with throughout the day was to welcome every sensation, every emotion, every energy in the body exactly as it was. To just be with what was arising, exactly as it appeared, with no push to change it or figure out what it "meant". This is a practice I use frequently, with myself and with clients, and I find that since the workshop it comes to me many times a day, and I allow myself to be with what is arising.
Yesterday, after my kids got home from school, I had an energy move though my body that was strong and all-encompassing. Not peaceful. I felt the draw to numb it with food and screens, but instead went out and sat in the sun on an Adirondack chair. I just kept saying "I welcome you", and listening into it and energetically opening to the sensations. I did that for about 25 minutes, and when I got up I was light, energized, and peaceful inside. I was then able to go in and be with my kids and get ready for my son's choir concert with presence and flow.
In my experience sometimes the body sensations and energies speak, and then we hear their words of pain. Sometimes they don't. Yesterday there were no words. And I trust that, I trust that when they are ready to speak they will, and when they don't I can open to the wordless, label-less direct experience of them moving through my being.
To loosely quote Byron Katie - 'You are the one you have been waiting for.'
I am the one to be with the myriad of energies, pains, and suffering arising inside within myself. Or as teacher Sharon Landrith says (again loosely paraphrased) 'You are the portal of mercy without end.'
We try to get everyone and everything else to do this for us. And while there is help along the way, ultimately is it our own selves, our own presence that transmutes suffering to freedom. Outsourcing is a dead end. You are it. You are the source of peace and healing and love.