I want to share a very simple practice with you today. I use this one frequently when I experience emotional or mental pain. It is deceptively simple, deceptive in that if you really drop into the practice it can completely flip the way you are relating to the world, and quite quickly.
The other morning I was preparing for the first teleclass of "Yes, that's my business", and I had some nervousness. It wasn't overwhelming, just sort of an unease waving up from the background at semi-regular intervals.
My first, mostly unconscious, response to the nervousness was to resist it. 'No... no, I have to get rid of this nervousness before the class starts. I have to be calm. This has to go away.'
Basic garden-variety resistance. Resistance to what is. It's normal to think that we should try to alter or amend the way that we are feeling.
Fortunately I am blessed with a meditation for just such times. Once I realized that I was in resistance (you have to notice the resistance before you can do anything about it), I allowed myself to fully let in it in. Let it in so fully that I could feel every little bit of it, to really allow myself to see how being in resistance to nervousness affected my world.
I said to myself "I don't EVER want to feel this nervousness ever again. And I felt into that position. I inquired into that stance, the stance of total resistance to experiencing nervousness. It doesn't feel good. In fact it feels hellish. Stuck, Terrifying.
Then I felt into the opposite stance, the Turnaround if you will. I said "I'm willing, I look forward to experiencing this nervousness. I'm willing to feel this." And I sensed into that position, slowly letting the feel of it revel itself. Relief, an easing.
And then the kicker, the stance that has the possibility of melting all resistance entirely - "I'm willing, I look forward to experiencing this nervousness for eternity." (Yes, I said that - FOR ETERNITY.)
And that is where the flip happens. Total acceptance and suddenly a peace moves in. I'm willing for this sweet Evangeline to be nervous forever. I love her. I'm willing for her be a total nervous wreck on the teleclass. Even for eternity. No pressure sweetheart.
With this unconditional acceptance of what is (nervousness) magic happens. The human is forgiven and allowed and loved, and with that a great peace comes.
I invite you to try it, but go gently with yourself. All things in their time. The first time I tried this I thought my teacher was a complete nut case. It took 3 years for me before I felt the flip. I COULD NOT see how accepting myself speaking from the ego for eternity could do anyone any good.
May you bless and be blessed,
In the works - mark your calendar - a 3 night night retreat June 20th to 23rd 2019 at the Lodge at Light on the Hill. Details forthcoming.
12 Credits for Certification Candidates in The Work
I find that I prefer speaking over writing these days. We'll see if that keeps up, for now YouTube videos it is! I have been on a roll.
I realize that everyone has a preferred mode of taking in information, I imagine that videos are good for some of you and less so for others.
This link will bring you to YouTube where you can watch a video about the six week teleclass that I am teaching beginning in the middle of October called "Yes! That's My Business". The video is a bit of an infomercial AND it contains some interesting ideas and explorations about what we take to be our own business. I think it's worth watching even if you aren't considering taking the class itself.
When I reference "my business" I am referring to the idea that there are three kinds of business - mine, yours (other people's), and God's/Life's. Byron Katie has a fabulous, succinct video in which she lays this idea out with classic Katie panache. Click this link to watch Katie's video.
When we believe something is for sure, without a doubt our business to deal with, take care of, take responsibility for, a concept is laid right over top of whatever it is we are looking at in reality.
This conceptual overlay by it's very nature changes the our ability to directly perceive reality. Can you see this in your mind's eye?
I see the thing I take to be my business - whatever it is - mothering, what I eat, how I treat people - I see it sort of floating there, and then I see a very thin film get dropped over it as soon as I believe that it is my business.
The thin film prevents me from clearly seeing what is going on, and it also begins to tighten, constrict, and truss up the actual thing sitting there. When this film and constrictive, controlling energy that is created when we believe something is our business is firmly in place, our innate love and presence cannot come though as easily and wisely "see" this thing we are taking to be our business. The natural, love-propelled response or right action latent within us is muted, or even completely transmuted.
In practical terms, when I take mothering to be my business (I have 2 children) I begin to relate to them through a lens of tension. It feels tight and frightening to be the mother. I begin to see my children as objects that I have power over, objects I have to deal with, objects that I have ultimate responsibility over.
I innocently believe that this thought - mothering is my business - keeps me a good parent. The true effect is much different. And, right underneath the thought that mothering is my business is the belief that something deeply loving, wise, and beautiful would not arise to be with my children if I were to let go of it being my business. I believe the thought keeps me being good, and without it I would run away, or be negligent. When I believe that it is no wonder I hold onto the idea that mothering is my business - my integrity allows nothing less.
I go into all of this more thoroughly in the video - I invite you to watch it if you are called to. I love getting comments and questions in the comments section below the video - as well as via email.
I hope you have a beautiful day (I am spending my afternoon on my cozy sun porch, rain falling heavy and delicious outside on the green fields.)