I sat in a cathedral built in the twelve century, having fasted for several days, quite quiet in mind and body. Tourists moved about, taking photos, reading plaques, sitting in prayer, the collective noises a soft patter dropping into the immensity of calm. Streaming shafts of sunlight sifted through the towering expanse of silence.The space created by the hand-hewn stone columns was powerful, visceral. All I could do was sit and be.
As I sat in the vast stillness of space held by the soaring walls and columns, something clicked inside and I knew that was what I was. Absolute eternal stillness, complete unto itself.
Somehow the ancient space held by the cathedral revealed to me what I really was. I could see it. It embodied a reference point for me, and embodied it so plainly that what I am resonated in recognition.
The moment passed and my focus came back to two young Italian women getting up from the pew in front of me. One of them had gorgeous long red curly hair that bounced and swirled around her. A wave of jealousy hit and I thought "I want her hair." Quick mental flashes of how my life would be better with her hair. What it would get me.
The contrast to the moment before was extreme, the difference jarred into my cells. The Work was alive in me that afternoon, and straight away I asked, I want her hair, is it true?
The answer came instantly, not in the form of a yes or no, but as an image of trying to attach the woman's hair to the eternal column of stillness. It didn't work. It couldn't be done.
The two things are made of different stuff, and one cannot mix with the other. It was like trying to make two positive magnents touch, they don't. The column of eternal stillness - absolutely timeless, stillness itself, unending and complete. The woman's hair - ephemeral, fleeting, of the world of form.
I saw the hair next to the column of stillness and I saw the hair burn away, their essences fundamentally different. The hair a flicker of flame, here and gone.
This is what you are. You are not your hair, not your job, not your position in life, not your image of what you think you are. All of these things melt immediately when held next to what you really are.. and there you are, shinning, vast, reaching though eternity with a play of form arising, dancing above you, and then melting away forever.